Going to school with a baby is very challenging! Is it doable? Of course !!! Is it manageable? Yes. Is it hard? YES!!!! Because parenthood is very unpredictable! Parenthood and education requires a lot of sacrifice! Priorities are important. I make a list of things that require immediate attention. I maximized my study time when it was Meriam's downtime/ sleep time! Waking up early was really beneficial for me too. At around 5/5:30am, I made some coffee, exercise, studied, went through my emails and I pushed myself! I pushed myself to hustle. This is a challenge. I am NOT like the other students who don't have relationship or children so they can primarily focus on school. I have a daughter and she needs my attention. I make it work. It's my mindset molded me to make things work. I will put an effort and I will put myself out there just to make it work. I don't try to mom guilt myself a lot, it is natural that mom guilt happens. But I remind myself of the bigger picture. I am doing this for Meriam and I. I am a role model for my little girl. If things becoming challenging, don't run from it. Take the bull by its horn and challenge it!
DISCIPLINE!!! Before my daughter was born, I would have a difficult time saying "no". I am a very nice girl and I hate feeling rude. But over the years, I've learned that saying "no" is not a a negative term, it just means I have other things to do that are my main priorities. True friends will understand the circumstances. So when my friends wanted to hang out, I would say no to them because I wanted to study. Also, ask for help. When you have a baby, it is not easy. Either involve your family or send your child off to daycare. It will be hard, but you are establishing a routine for them.
My study time with a newborn was not hard actually. Meriam was a cluster feeder!! She would only wake up a once/twice at night. Honestly, I was really blessed to have an easy newborn. She rarely caused any trouble. Sometimes, I would sleep when she was sleeping if I was exhausted. After I was rested, I would feed Meriam and myself then I would study with her aloud. Baby Meriam would listen to all of the drugs and anatomy as I studied. Plus, she was my main motivator. I listened to lectures while I pushed her in her stroller and went on for long walks!!!!! These long walks were beneficial to me because it helped me get some exercise in and encouraged me to study in a different environment. I recommend going outside with a baby because it helps them develop their sensory and exploratory skills.
Making a schedule really helps. You have to find how to make things. Or if you don't want a schedule, make a to-do list and cross them off as you go! It really helps lighten the load. However, as your baby grows older, you have to adjust to their needs. When Meriam started crawling at 5 months and 29 days, she didn't want to lay around- this girl wanted to EXPLORE!!!! Therefore, I adjusted my schedule and study times according to her needs. So if she is exploring, I would gate off that area where she wants to play and baby proof it. Then I would study slowly and watch her while she plays. Usually, there is nothing alarming or hazardous in her play zone area so I had some peace of mind. Sometimes, I would study with her casually as a "game". Then I would do hardcore studying when Meriam is asleep. NOT EASY!!!!! Especially, when the teething phase starts. It is difficult when they are teething and you're dealing with sleep regression! Those are the days I don't study! It would be extremely brutal for me to study on days when I am not fully rested.
During my first semester in school, I had to change my schedule A LOT!! There was alot of experimenting I was doing. Sometimes, I was sleeping at 8/9pm. Sometimes, I was getting up really at 3/4am. I was not sure how to study a large volume of information in such a short amount of time. On top of that, I had a two year old who constantly wanted attention. It was difficult. My normal schedule was getting up at 5am and quickly eat breakfast and listen to lectures. By 7am, I made some coffee, checked emails, and did some light exercise. By 8am, my two year old was waking up so I fed her, played with her and then she would go to her grandma. Meriam has a little bit of separation anxiety. If she would leave me, she would be extremely miserable. Or if she saw her grandma leaving, she would cry! It was a lot to juggle but Meriam slowly got used to the routine. Once my toddler was with her grandma, I would effectively study for classes. I used white boards, Anki flashcards and a lot of outside resources!! I eliminated all distractions and focused on my school. It was hard! I was lacking sleep, over-caffeinated, and eventually I was dealing with burn out. Burn out is real!!! I learned to schedule in my self care routine (whether that is going out with my best friend for dinner or shopping). I did something to help me relax. Time management is key. I made friends throughout my community and they would really help me give pep-talks. It is nice to know people out of medicine. It is almost a fresh of breath air. I would recommend to have friends outside of medicine to help you "get away" from school.
Listen to your mind and body! I had to learn to take care of myself. I gave myself days off to recover from whatever I was dealing with at that time. I was also battling with-postpartum depression too in the beginning too. It was a difficult time but I kept reminding myself of the end goal. I am working hard for my daughter. To give my daughter a better future. To be a good role model for my daughter! I create a positive experience for my daughter so she remembers the happy memories! SHE IS WORTH TI! She might drive me insane but she is worth it. My little superhero!
So for anyone considering going to medicine and having a baby, please understand that everyone has a different experience. It is how you handle it contributes to your success. Having a baby is NOT easy along with managing school. You must work hard! It takes a lot of discipline and growth mindset to achieve success. It is doable to have a baby but be prepared for some unpredictable events and always ask for help. I don't recommend delaying kids because, personally, I don't think there is ever a good time for have children. Perspectively, you should have kids if you are ready to settle down and take on the challenge. With all of those sleepless nights, poop explosions, temper tantrums, you will be awestruck by their unconditional love they have for their parent. Be the role model your child deserves and will always love.
Love Always,
Ash
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